What Happened in Oakland

To All Butches and our Allies
from Jeanne Cordova

Yes, it was a hard weekend--a tough experience, both sad and joyful. Bittersweet.
Many have written and asked, "What happened?"
Bottom line first -- a big group, led by woman-identified Butches, formally left Butch Voices and formed Butch Nation.

To start at the beginning of the weekend:
What appeared to be about 250 people (butches, femmes, transmasculine, genderqueer, everyone) came to Oakland. Many expressed their disappointment that they couldn’t find any workshops at the BV conference that were relevant to their lives. Others appeared satisfied. Butch Nation members did three workshops not included by BV. On Saturday Sasha Goldberg led “Bulldaggers: For Women-identified, Female Pronoun Using Butches,” sponsored by the Oakland Bulldaggers who played a leading role in Butch Nation, and the topic was discussed by a packed room of some 60 such dykes. The energy was high, tight with butch camaraderie and everyone spoke. On Sunday at the 12 noon lunchtime, I presented my workshop from prior butch conferences, “Exploring Our Masculinities While Keeping our Feminism” –with panelists Angie Evans (the Butch Revival musician) Staci Reed from Bulldaggers (and a co-founder of Butch Nation), and Sky Kral also of Bulldaggers. The room was filled with eager female-identified butches and we spoke about how and why feminism & womanism was important to butch identity. At the same time Butch Nation allies Lynn Harris Ballen & Yvonne Moore called a caucus for Feminist Femmes & Allies who wanted to know what was going on, show their support and air their feelings. About 25 femmes attended this “Femme Couch” in the lobby and were grateful to be together.
After an afternoon of BV workshops about 200 folk went to a BV sponsored variety show Saturday night called, coincidentally, “Butch Nation.” D’Lo the comic emceed, we laughed, talked, ‘shopping’ took place! Some politics didn’t go over so well from the stage but generally we all had a good time. It felt good to laugh!
Then came Sunday’s “Town Hall” sort of awkwardly placed in the middle of BV’s closing plenary. Butch Voices had invited Butch Nation women, so we came. Unfortunately, only about 125 people were still around to attend this. BV chose a not-affiliated with either faction moderator, named Raj Neogy. I thought this was a good idea and said yes to it when asked earlier by BV. Raj had a tough crowd with a lot of tension and intense feelings. Many walked in possibly hoping for reconciliation. The key issues were: the word “butch” being removed from BV’s mission statement and replaced by “masculine of center people.” The 2nd big issue was the Confidentiality Agreement issued by BV in April to all of its organizers and workshop presenters. Pages of this lengthy document were passed around by Butch Nation so people could read it. (on BV’s website, last two pages).
In this Townhall session about 35 people got up to speak. Charges about everything from “the Microsoft tone” of the confidentiality statement to everything but the kitchen sink were hurled about. Lots of tension, sadness, tears, pride, anger, confusion.
But part way through it became clear to people that these were core differences. There was no offer of reconciliation from Butch Voices to Butch Nation. Toward the end B. Cole, and a few other cooler heads, said stuff like, “It’s clear that there are now going to be two organizations. How can our community best support both of them?”
Suggestions were made as everyone tried to calm down and get a grip and look to the future. D’Lo asked, “How we can cooperate? Like the Brown Boi Project sponsors workshops at BV conferences, maybe Butch Nation could do the same at future Butch Voices conferences.” Sasha Goldberg of Butch Nation suggested that we go our separate ways in peace. I agree.

Did the split have to happen? Why couldn't we talk it thru and reconcile?
Please believe that those of us in Butch Nation spent 18 months and hundreds of emails and hours of Board Conference Call Meetings pleading with the Board of BV not to change their mission statement, not to cast off our feminist/womanist and lesbian heritage. BV and BN leaders still have dozens of emails about these talks.

Butch Nation is now in the process of writing its Mission Statement. We will soon pull that together and put it out for feedback. We have begun to pull together a Steering Committee for our Weekend of Butch Culture on the weekend before Halloween 2012. We are writing by-laws. We are recovering from the weekend. Butch Nation avows feminism as a cornerstone of butch identity. But that does not mean only one kind of big "F" feminism, and that does not mean we will exclude butches who may not be feminists. Our welcome card is to; “All who identify as butch and our allies." To me the "B" word includes all those who were welcomed on the main post-card of the Los Angeles butch conference of 2010. That is, "all who identify as butch, boi, genderqueer, tomboy, stud, aggressive, butcha, macha, drag king, jock, dyke, two-spirit, FtM, androgynous-with-a-butch twist, and transmasculine.”
Butch Nation wants also to reach out beyond conferences and be involved in grass roots activism and the world politics of gender discrimination, with particular focus on the oppression of butches.

Was there a generational, or racial, or class split?
Fuck no, not from Butch Nation! Dozens of youth are working in both Butch Nation and Butch Voices. Indeed, youth and women/people of color, and all classes are founders of both.
I see my job as an elder as supporting our daughters (and sons) to continue the social justice work we began with the civil rights movements of the 1960s… to women's liberation… then, gay liberation… then, lesbian nation, then queer nation, now Butch Nation.

Butch is a Way of Life

Thanks to the hundreds of women, womyn, dykes, Moc people, and gender-queer folk who've written in support of the birth and vision of Butch Nation. (see press release in my last post) My position is that there are no "sides" here; just legitimate political and values differences.

But, there are so few butch events in our country that I urge everyone to go to as many as they can. There is much to learn and lots of butch camaraderie to be soaked up at all such gatherings.

The radical core of being a gender-nonconforming woman means embracing both the masculine and the feminine Self. Butch is much more than a noun. It is a way of life enriched by its painful past and made noble by its authentic present.
Movements grow and change through splits and shifts. They are common. And not harmful so long as they are issue driven rather than personality based.

The Butch Enough blog post – (7/31 - ‘Gender is a Landscape Not a Line’ - http://butchenough.wordpress.com/) accurately details my hesitations with using "masculine of center people" as an umbrella identifier. Find it, read it!

If any of you are interested in serving butch community by joining our Board, please write info.butch.nation@gmail.com letting us know this. And friend us on facebook - Butch Nation for updates. We are growing!

In brotherhood and sisterhood,
Jeanne Cordova, feminist butch
Co-founder, Butch Nation

What’s in a word?

Particulars about ‘butch’ lesbians…..



Great Gay in the park! Dyke Day LA, with nigh unto 400 queers of the lesbian variety, was laid back and cool. The atmosphere, complete with whiffs of pot, made me think of our gay-kiss-ins at Griffith Park back in the day.
Fewer lip-locks this afternoon, but now it’s chic (almost legal) to dyke-out in public.

But while handing out postcards there for the upcoming ButchVoices.LA Conference, I did stumble upon some remarks that clearly show education about butch (or femme) needs some brush-up. Like one young person said my lover wasn’t really “femme” because she’s ape-shit watching soccer and the world cup this week. And I overheard another femme say to her friend, “Naturally, the femmes did all the behind-the-scenes work.”

Since when do femmes not like sports, and since when are femmes NOT on stage! Most femmes I know had at least one guitar-carrying butch hauling their shit (oops, accessories) up and down Barnsdall’s grassy knoll. As for my femme, she often asks me, “What’s the point of games with balls in them?” She’s only mesmerized by her country (South Africa) playing against my country (Mexico)! After that she switched the TV back to extreme-architectural-do-over, or whatever.

But a few more words on the topic of butch/femme education; butches are slightly more prone to watching sports on TV, but that’s bro-bonding more than following the ball. Neither the “B” word nor “femme” has anything to do with topping—in bed or out of bed. I know lots of alpha femmes who do both as their calling card. And plenty of “soft” butches who dig it.

Oh, and when I say “soft butch,” I’m not talking not shining your belt buckle or wearing your hair long. Buckles and hair do not a butch make. The “soft” only refers to the emotional “yin” quality. (That’s like in the yin & yang of things.) “Soft butches” (unlike ‘classic’ butches) go with femmes (or other butches) who are alpha: like power femmes, barracuda femmes, some high femmes (but not all), burlesque femmes, or just plain ol’ diva femmes (who hate to be called “plain” or “ol’” anything!)

“Butch” is about your style, presentation, way of thinking, and innate body language. “Butch” should not be confused with your emotionality (there are dominant butches, and plenty of pillow-king butches). And “butch” should not be confused with what kind of job/career path you’ve chosen. I know electrician femmes and Ph.d femmes, and a whole lot of femmes who are not in the “giving” professions. Some femmes I know last “gave” in the Ice Age.

So butches - and ‘studs’ and tombois and genderqueer leaning to the masculine dykes -you gotta be clear about who you are. If you’re not, your femme may just fill in your blanks. Butch dress and presentation is one variable of butch identity, but presentation does not necessarily define a butch’s sexual performance or her emotional comfort zone around dominance (or lack thereof) in a relationship.

All of which is to plug the upcoming ButchVoices.LA Conference in October. Ya gotta come so you can get your shit together around being a butch. If you are not ‘studly’ enough to come on your own, bring your butch-boi buddy, your femme, or any of your genderqueer friends who want to check out the scene and make up their own minds.
You can’t beat the price--$50 (sliding scale) for a whole weekend of best lesbiqueer performers and very smart lesbian speakers from all over the fucking country. Can’t get this at the Dinah!

Check out the who’s who of the butch-world at the conference’s website: http://bvla2010.com/
Kudos to the organizers of Dyke Day in the Park, and both Dyke March nights. Nice job!

Butches and Their Clothes – Still Walking the Gauntlet

Drag Kings, fashion shows, butches and ties are everywhere, but what’s all the commotion about? Seems like only yesterday it was femmes and lipstick lesbians stressing out about ‘what to wear’ to the next hot event. Now we’ve got the Top 100 Hot Butches List, and the heat is now on us—butches—to toss the t-shirts and rag-ass jeans. Don’t leave the house lookin’ like a washed-up granola dyke with bad hair.
Are there politics behind butches and their clothes, or is this just another reason for lesbians to trend-out meaninglessly? Yes, we got politics. Clothes are an important dimension of the new butch renaissance. Because many of us have been deeply traumatized about clothing.

As a teenager, I hated being dragged to Macy's by my mother. Every trip meant a new oppression by girl things called bras, stockings, slips, shoes that pinch, and other ‘harnesses’ for parts of my body that used to be free. I could not figure out how to get into the bra-thing and was sure my mother had it wrong—it had to be a new sort of football jockstrap. But my teenage voice didn’t count. I was forced to endure five years of daily gender oppression.
In my first year of college and freedom, I was sure I still hated clothes shopping but I had to wear something, so back to Macy's I went. Parking my Chevy in the only free parking spot I could find, I accidentally entered the store by another entrance. What a shock! I found myself in paradise in Macy's—the Boy’s Department. The colors, the styles, real jackets, normal shoes and trousers! I couldn’t believe it! There was nothing wrong with ‘shopping’, I’d just been lost in the women’s sections all these years. Thrilled, I moved on…and had an identity crisis in the Men’s Department! And no, it never occurred to me that I was crossing the evil waters of the gender binary. I hadn’t a clue. My body was just responding instinctively to all the right clothes.

But my lifetime trauma wasn’t over. As my body grew into a woman’s with several butch features—like being so short-waisted that women’s pants crawled up to my breasts, and men’s shirt sleeves hung below my elbows—I spent the next couple of decades running back and forth between the various departments, including petite, looking desperately for an article of clothing that fit without causing havoc within my cross-gendered psyche. The low-waisted fad was terrific, but I went years not buying new socks until the young men’s department—and young men themselves—finally stopped wearing children’s socks. I always buy three of everything that fits because years might pass before I’d find another shirt that worked with my butch wardrobe.
Becoming a feminist helped me understand the politics of clothes—that clothes were made to reinforce heterosexual stereotypes. And to marginalize those of us who didn’t fit the fashion paradigm of “male” and “female.”
That’s when I got angry and started dressing with a political vengeance. I wanted to prove to the world that a masculine-inclined woman could look dapper. I even trained my siblings and parents. When my mother bought me hooped gold earrings on my 40th birthday, my father - seeing my sad face - offered to take them away and bought me a cool black belt instead.

In case you think anti-butch remarks are a thing of the past—I overheard my femme partner having a conversation at the last party we went to. She was talking with two 50-something year old lesbian feminists:

“Butch doesn’t happen anymore,” one of them sneered, as if they smelled rotten veggies.

“Labels don’t need to be prescriptive,” said my femme. “Masculinity doesn’t belong to men anymore. Haven’t you heard?”

“The word ‘masculine’ is still a dirty word to us,” they countered.

“Butch and femme exist in every generation of lesbians,” my woman said."Why don’t we stop trying to tell each other who to be?”

“Well! We don’t need to be men.”

So I see my Sweetheart point to me and my butch bud Pat Aldarete, both in tie & jacket that night. She says, “Jeanne and Pat have no choice but to claim their masculinity. When they walk into restaurants people still stare at them. Like they have a right to ask, “Are you a guy or a chick?”

“Oh, that never happens anymore!” I hear my two same-aged ‘sisters’ tell my lover.
A few hours later, my girl and I go out to a Valley eatery, and I walk the het gauntlet of stares from middle-aged straight men and their wives. But…oh wait! This time it is different. The only ones who didn’t stare was the straight couple under thirty.

So yes, butches are still trying to express our real selves in a world that still has a het gauntlet and doesn’t make clothes for us. Nowadays there are a few butch fashion lines struggling to break even, and even Nordstrom makes that occasional shirt “for the tailored woman.” So, butch—or some call it “androgynous” –clothing trauma lives on (made only slightly easier by a more unisexed society.) But that’s what all the fuss is about, we butches are still trying to change the world.

*L.A’s next Butch fashion show takes place Friday, October 9, at the BUTCHVoices.LA Conference. Email for more info: BVLA2010@gmail.com

When Butchdom Was in Flower

I’ve just had one of the most unusual experiences of my life – being in unknown city surrounded by 400 Butch identified - women, dykes, bois, trans folk, youthful studlets, aged bulldykes, feminist she/he’s, rapper-aggressives, classic and soft butches, and every other kind of lesbian Butch I’ve never seen nor heard about.

Yeah – I was there at the start of a new movement being born within the great family of LGBT people, but here the “B” stands for Butch. Yes, I’m talking about the first ever Butch Voices Conference in Oakland, August 20-24, 2009.

Walking into the grand ballroom of the Marriott up to the stage to give my keynote address, I saw and felt a great wave of power and awe sweep toward me. The power in the surge felt all-woman, yet also mass-culine, a rough-and-tumble, yet strangely elegant surge of love. What is this power? I asked myself as my shoulders coiled in fight or flight mode, the first instinct of growing up butch in a hostile world.

But then I saw Jewelle Gomez in the second row stand up and start clapping. And then the whole room rose up like an old-bull rising to her feet one last time, and I realized that they were clapping for me like I was Achilles returned from a lifetime of war.

And suddenly I realized that this surge was the force of butch-love. And it wasn’t just for me it was for each other. None of us had ever in our lifetime been with a great crowd of our own kind and this was awe, amazement, and wait… I remember the feeling from the 70s, great bands of lesbian feminists gathering and shouting and reveling in ‘sisterhood’, but only this time… it was lesbian brotherhood.

And later I found myself in a workshop led by Sasha T. Goldberg - a room packed with 60 butches who’d come to hear what the hell the workshop title “Bulldagger: For Women-Identified, Female Pronoun using Butches” – meant. And what it turned out to mean was some fear that our kind of butch might be an endangered species. We worried that so many of the young Butches were choosing unusual combinations of mixing ‘butch’ with masculinity. Did that mean that our definition of butch was being cut off at the knees? So we put our fear out on the table and looked at it. We talked about the loneliness of growing up as the original gender-warriors of lesbianism. And out of that shared pain came the realization that we need to re-define ‘butch’ in a post-trans world. And out of this realization we decided that we would not surrender to fear, not even to the fear of extinction. No, that’s not the butch way. We don’t surrender to fear. So we decided, we are not going to cut off our junior brothers who are taking ‘butch’ beyond the binary of male & female. How could we reject them when our own lives are about demanding that the straight world move over and accept the existence of masculine woman? How could we divorce them off when they are only creating a new platform out of the freedom we fought to give to them?

And so it was decided, almost from the very first day, not just in this workshop, but the Butch Voice Conference as a whole declared that we didn’t want to draw a line between female and male identified butches. We didn’t want to cut off the new shadows of what it might mean to be butch. We just said “no” to dividing ourselves along the patriarchally created lines of binary genders that we’ve fought so long and hard to bury.

And in case some dykes are out there saying, so what’s the big news, a bunch of ‘guys’ got together and decided they are guys? That wasn’t the case. When I gave the Conference organizers the title of my keynote, “Keeping our Feminism, While Exploring our Masculinities,” I thought I might be a lone voice of feminism at the weekend. But I was determined to insist that the new generation of butches know the strength of Feminism and don’t grow up without it. So I was shocked and over-joyed when butch after butch, particularly the African American, working-class butches, whose voice was strong this weekend, claimed feminism as a cornerstone of their own ideology of ‘butch.’

And yes, Butch Voices also taught me a lot about class. Things that this other class, privileged, Chicana, feminist, classic-butch never knew. And I had one of the best nights of my lesbian life rocking to the performance night talent called “Butch Nation” which blew the roof off Humanity Hall in Oakland. But these are others stories…more stories about butch voices…that I hope to write about later.

So for the thousands of dykes who missed this extra-ordinary event, tune into http://www.butchvoices.com/ - because the awesome organizers promise ButchVoices2 two years from this summer.

For more from me see my website under construction at subterior.com/cordovajj, moving shortly to www.JeanneCordova.com

PS Title of my blog gives a nod to 1922 book/play/movie 'When Knighthood Was in Flower', about chivalry in the Tudor Period!

PHOTO: Lisa Everly. (seen here, Lynn H. Ballen & Jeanne Cordova, co-producers of the LEX-Lesbian Exploratorium exhibit, GenderPlay, part of the BV art showcase 'Visually Speaking' )