Watching the sexism, 10 white men ‘bullying’ a lone woman reminds me of the worst of Chris Matthews trying to grok Hillary Clinton. And just when I feel my stomach start to settle down one of these guys from The Family of Old White Guys brings up the “wise Latina” quote for the 45th time and makes me feel I was wrong to come back from living in Mexico. As a Latina American, it doesn’t take much to out-wise these good old boys who haven’t swept a floor since they left Mommy, I am appalled by the overt racism of the supposedly wisest men in America – Senators.
I want to paint my protest sign and get out there on the streets for Sotomayor, a feeling I haven’t had since the paint-Anita Hill-as-a-tramp in the Thomas for Justice hearings decades ago. So I can feel the heat from my Latino hermanas across the country. I ask myself -- Why are Republican Senators being so obviously racist? Don’t they know they are loosing thousands of Latino votes by the hour?”
And then it dawns on me! These hearings are not about Sonia Sotomayor, she’s a shoo-in, everyone has admitted that. So what’s this show about? It’s about Sarah Palin’s constituency and who’s gonna be its champion come 2012. Her constituency, the Last White People Standing Party, that’s the LWPS party, not to be confused with the NSWP party – the National Socialist White People’s Party, yep, the NAZIs.
The Last White People Standing party is the last gasp of rural, used-to-be, the ‘real’ America, why are all these people of so many colors taking us over constituency that Palin now represents. And the Last White People are very, very pissed off. And something, I believe, the rest of us have to take seriously, if only to watch them try to take back their disappearing country. That will affect the rest of us.
Obama’s election as our first African American president, and come on, Michael Jackson was blacker than Obama, has tipped the balance of power in this country so much that LWPS might well be that missing third party on the national stage. Remember Ross Perot who at least hid his racism behind his ‘pro-business’ rhetoric? So let’s watch out for the rise of this third party. Oh it won’t be called the Last White People Standing party …no, it’ll be called something very democratic sounding and close to God. Let’s see, the Patriot’s Party, or maybe the National American Party. Yeah, that’s a good catch-all word – American. What does that stand for?
Pop Quiz Question: What will that new Party be called? Best answer gets front seats at the next sold-out LEX event! And, kudos to Angela Brinskele who got the last pop quiz lesbian history question first and right. Still owe Angela that GenderPlay T-shirt! Congrats to Angela!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Rules for Radicals....
For now, start with a basic -- Saul Alinsky’s classic, “Rules for Radicals.” It’s small, in paperback, cheapo. Alinsky was The Man in early 70s community organizing and Obama and I both carried the Rules in our back pockets. In 1972 I did my Masters in Social Work at UCLA and wrote my thesis on, “The Organized Lesbian Community of L.A.” The professor gave me a “C” saying, “I don’t believe this exists, but I’ll pass you because I know you’re going to create it. Nice try.”
Alinsky was our guideposts at UCLA School of Social Work for both Chicano and Black Student Alliances, whites too!
So here's a question: Anyone know who Del Martinez is (besides the President of the UCLA Chicano Alliance back in my day)?
That’s the pop-history question of the day. (no googling!)
A GenderPlay t-shirt will be awarded to whoever knows!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Time to Pass The Torch
Katha Pollitt's recent column in The Nation is about intergenerational feminist conflicts. Read it at this link... & then my response below... http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090615/pollitt
I write to affirm Katha Pollitt’s view that it is not about waves, it is about power. And to suggest that 2nd wave feminists (and I am one, albeit a youngster of 60) all need to start pass the torch to Generation O, the Obama Generation.
Perhaps we do more action and less hair splitting here in L.A., where this passing of the torch is already well underway. And I am speaking more of the LGBT Movement, which strongly overlaps the re-burgeoning young feminist movement.
Both had their re-birth with the same historical events in 2007 – the campaign between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. And in California, at least, Generation O has further earned their stripes on the same Election Day November defeat over Proposition 8, which would have given same-sex couples the right to marry.
For the last eight months, California’s Generation 0, a huge passel of high school, college and post college young kids – often led by young women – have taken to the streets in protest on a weekly basis. They have organized so many new groups that we’ve had to form a coordinating coalition called OUT West that now includes 40 organizations.
I have met these young militant adults at a half dozen history-teach-ins, civil disobedience actions, panels, rallies, marches, and on Facebook. And unlike their parents’ generation – the 40 to 60 years olds who went partying or lip-sticking during the Bush’s dead years - they want to hear from us, their grandmothers of the 2nd wave.
That’s the real news -- that the kids are back on the streets again and wanting us to tell them: what is consciousness raising? How do you get a thousand people to a rally? What are the tricks of the trade?
With a looming defeat on our state’s agenda, and having been radicalized in Hillary’s campaign AND Obama’s brilliant grass-roots organizing, the only thing they want to know is – how do we win?
These young women – and dare I say, young men as sweet and feminist as their grandmothers raised them to be. Their vigor and idealism warms my heart. They are a super-bright, socially conscious lot and I sleep well at night knowing that after the fallow years (80’s & 90s’s) – the kids are back!
And now it is our job to school them, (Our Council of Elders is putting a book list together that covers everything from Simone de Beauvoir to Kate Bornstein), to support them, and turn the power over to them. We need to be pushing them forward, making sure that on every panel of old feminists, there are Gen O speakers too. We need to open our meetings to them, yes the top planning meetings too. And make sure their views and interpretations of the world get air time too.
And now, Robin Morgan, we do need to pass the torch. We had our day and did a hell of a job with it. But now it is time to be mentors to them. They are the future.
I write to affirm Katha Pollitt’s view that it is not about waves, it is about power. And to suggest that 2nd wave feminists (and I am one, albeit a youngster of 60) all need to start pass the torch to Generation O, the Obama Generation.
Perhaps we do more action and less hair splitting here in L.A., where this passing of the torch is already well underway. And I am speaking more of the LGBT Movement, which strongly overlaps the re-burgeoning young feminist movement.
Both had their re-birth with the same historical events in 2007 – the campaign between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. And in California, at least, Generation O has further earned their stripes on the same Election Day November defeat over Proposition 8, which would have given same-sex couples the right to marry.
For the last eight months, California’s Generation 0, a huge passel of high school, college and post college young kids – often led by young women – have taken to the streets in protest on a weekly basis. They have organized so many new groups that we’ve had to form a coordinating coalition called OUT West that now includes 40 organizations.
I have met these young militant adults at a half dozen history-teach-ins, civil disobedience actions, panels, rallies, marches, and on Facebook. And unlike their parents’ generation – the 40 to 60 years olds who went partying or lip-sticking during the Bush’s dead years - they want to hear from us, their grandmothers of the 2nd wave.
That’s the real news -- that the kids are back on the streets again and wanting us to tell them: what is consciousness raising? How do you get a thousand people to a rally? What are the tricks of the trade?
With a looming defeat on our state’s agenda, and having been radicalized in Hillary’s campaign AND Obama’s brilliant grass-roots organizing, the only thing they want to know is – how do we win?
These young women – and dare I say, young men as sweet and feminist as their grandmothers raised them to be. Their vigor and idealism warms my heart. They are a super-bright, socially conscious lot and I sleep well at night knowing that after the fallow years (80’s & 90s’s) – the kids are back!
And now it is our job to school them, (Our Council of Elders is putting a book list together that covers everything from Simone de Beauvoir to Kate Bornstein), to support them, and turn the power over to them. We need to be pushing them forward, making sure that on every panel of old feminists, there are Gen O speakers too. We need to open our meetings to them, yes the top planning meetings too. And make sure their views and interpretations of the world get air time too.
And now, Robin Morgan, we do need to pass the torch. We had our day and did a hell of a job with it. But now it is time to be mentors to them. They are the future.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
LEX... produces GenderPlay Exhibit in West Hollywood
GenderPlay in Lesbian Culture
Exhibit opening – Saturday, March 14th 3pm - 6pm
Exhibit opening – Saturday, March 14th 3pm - 6pm
With singer & boi-wonder Phranc & emcee Marie Cartier & performance art from Latina trio Butchlalis de Panochtitlan.
L.A.’s first-ever exhibition that explores gender and its boundaries and the changing nature of lesbian identity.
Discover cross-dressers and tobacco-chewers of the American Civil War and the Wild West, stone butches, high femmes, and kiki's of the 1950s through the Lesbian Feminist 1970s to queers, bois, and trans people of today. See how ‘passing’ gave opportunity and language to women’s sexuality – from two spirit to genderqueer today.
GenderPlay challenges our labels, asks us to re-think our stereotypes, and looks at how lesbians define ourselves & what turns us on. All re-mixed with vintage photos, archival docs, film clips, and historic first person quotes.
ONE Archives Gallery & Museum 626 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood CA 90069 (Gallery Entrance on El Tovar)
Produced by LEX - the Lesbian Exploratorium & ONE Gay&Lesbian Archives
co-sponsored by City of West Hollywood & Christopher Street West/LA Pride
For details: thelexinfo@gmail.com
Friday, November 21, 2008
A Letter to "gen O"
A letter to Amy Balliette (http://www.jointheimpact.com/) & SaraBeth Brooks (http://www.sdequalitynow.com/)
Dear Amy & SaraBeth, and all you new, fantastic “Generation O” organizers:
Thanks for stepping out to finish this revolution! Whew, finally! Heard you on "Feminist Magazine" (KPFK Radio) last night, and saw you at all these rallies and marches everywhere since Nov.4th. You have inspired me --- a retired lesbian community organizer from the days of Prop.6 (Briggs Initiative that tried to throw out gay teachers) and Prop. 64 (AIDS Quarantine Initiative), to come out of retirement! And get to blogging some of my stories and tips as to how we won these ballot initiatives in the 70s and 80s, and how we built the gay civil rights movement. So here’s tip #1 from my life -- and the UCLA Grad School of Community Organizing back in 1970, when I was nineteen or twenty too: 1. Marches/rallies create energy. Energy needs to be channeled towards goals. Goals need to be: *Achievable (within our lifetime) *Clear & specific (not vague) *Bold (pushing the envelope, inspiring -- like Mr. 0). I like the idea of the Boston Tea Party. Especially if you can get Boston gays (and straight allies) to spearhead that day and throw bags of our income tax reports into Boston Harbor. The rest of us can bag them and burn them on the steps of City Halls, or if we want to be polite, just leave them on the s teps with a note to the Major attached. 2. Tip Numero Dos: Tell straight friends we want and need them in our struggle. They can do the same thing we need to do: Dialog with those who don’t understand. I went to the Pasadena rally Nov. 15 and saw, out of 300 people, that half were straight! Was I shocked, and delighted! If all young people merged as One, like you did for Obama, we’d all be equal real soon. If I can be of any help to you organizers out there, write me at this blog & I’ll answer your questions, or find some other activist who knows more than I do.
Jeanne Cordova, M.S.W., is a lesbian feminist community organizer, journalist, author, butch, Chicana, writer, old, wise, pioneering elder of the GLBT community, who first voted for Hill, but swung over to O because Michelle is so awesome.
PS You can hear the Nov 19th radio interview at http://archive.kpfk.org/parchive/.
Dear Amy & SaraBeth, and all you new, fantastic “Generation O” organizers:
Thanks for stepping out to finish this revolution! Whew, finally! Heard you on "Feminist Magazine" (KPFK Radio) last night, and saw you at all these rallies and marches everywhere since Nov.4th. You have inspired me --- a retired lesbian community organizer from the days of Prop.6 (Briggs Initiative that tried to throw out gay teachers) and Prop. 64 (AIDS Quarantine Initiative), to come out of retirement! And get to blogging some of my stories and tips as to how we won these ballot initiatives in the 70s and 80s, and how we built the gay civil rights movement. So here’s tip #1 from my life -- and the UCLA Grad School of Community Organizing back in 1970, when I was nineteen or twenty too: 1. Marches/rallies create energy. Energy needs to be channeled towards goals. Goals need to be: *Achievable (within our lifetime) *Clear & specific (not vague) *Bold (pushing the envelope, inspiring -- like Mr. 0). I like the idea of the Boston Tea Party. Especially if you can get Boston gays (and straight allies) to spearhead that day and throw bags of our income tax reports into Boston Harbor. The rest of us can bag them and burn them on the steps of City Halls, or if we want to be polite, just leave them on the s teps with a note to the Major attached. 2. Tip Numero Dos: Tell straight friends we want and need them in our struggle. They can do the same thing we need to do: Dialog with those who don’t understand. I went to the Pasadena rally Nov. 15 and saw, out of 300 people, that half were straight! Was I shocked, and delighted! If all young people merged as One, like you did for Obama, we’d all be equal real soon. If I can be of any help to you organizers out there, write me at this blog & I’ll answer your questions, or find some other activist who knows more than I do.
Jeanne Cordova, M.S.W., is a lesbian feminist community organizer, journalist, author, butch, Chicana, writer, old, wise, pioneering elder of the GLBT community, who first voted for Hill, but swung over to O because Michelle is so awesome.
PS You can hear the Nov 19th radio interview at http://archive.kpfk.org/parchive/.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
California Dreaming: Lesbians Over 60 Together!
When they asked me to speak at the Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC) Gathering - coming up this month - I sucked in my breath. “I’m not old. I’m only fifty-nine!” I protested.Then I stopped myself, wondering, “What does ‘old’ mean? Wasn’t I forty just the other day?”
Luckily I managed a “Yes, yes, of course I’ll speak,” and politely put the phone down. But the conversation started a week-long identity crisis.
Somewhere along the way I started thinking about that upcoming weekend … old dykes gathering to fight the system … old dykes coming together to have slumber parties in the hotel rooms … Alix Dobkin singing, Sue Fink might holler a rendition of “Leaping Lesbians” … panels and workshops to help me deal with my ‘issue’ … fun … learning … a chance to grow older gracefully… this could be a blast!”
“California Dreaming: Building a Better World for Old Lesbians” will take place right here in L.A. from July 30 - August 3. (http://www.oloc.org/)
This four-day Gathering will bring Lesbians from across the country together, to be with women like ourselves.
We’re going to be entertained by the likes of the Mothertongue Feminist Readers Theater, comedian Robin Tyler, and a reunion performance by the L.A. Women’s Community Chorus.
Three dynamic keynote speakers – all over sixty – will share their wise words: award-winning author Jewelle Gomez, former California State Assemblymember Jackie Goldberg, and Blues singer Gaye Adegbalola of Saffire (who will also perform.)
Other highlights include a Saturday night Banquet and Dance and an optional Sunday Lesbian bus tour of West Hollywood sights.
Inspiring workshops will cover topics ranging from well-being to making social change, and from spirituality to belly dancing.
Yes, I am going to speak after all, on a panel on “Activism, Then & Now”; and other workshops will include topics like “Intimacy – More Than Just Coupling”; “Organizing & Coalition Building for Old Lesbians”; “African American Lesbian Activism and Visibility”; “Herbal Medicine in the Second Half of our Lives”; “Housing Alternatives”; and if you’re up for it ….”Line Dancing.”
Lesbians over sixty include the generations who came out in eras of great discrimination, as well as women who built the Lesbian Feminist movement in the ‘70s. It’s the first time that these two generations of Out Lesbians will come together to make their voices heard. And with all this talk of “the graying of America” in the mainstream press, Lesbians know that we are always ahead of the pack in making social change that benefits everyone who comes behind us. Throughout history – from the abolitionists fighting slavery, to the profession of social work, to civil rights and the women’s movement, and even the environmental movement – Lesbians have been leaders in these struggles. Now its time to put our experience to work on the next big issue – redefining what age means.
"Gilda Stories” author Jewelle Gomez says she’s looking forward to the slumber party! “I’m excited because we’re all still here.” She says, “I remember that first rush and thrill of working with Lesbians when I was in my twenties. That we’re still doing that work for change is just as thrilling.”
“I love consciousness-raising and smart old Dykes,” says Alix Dobkin, an OLOC Steering Committee member, “I put them all together and got OLOC. OLOC women taught me how to wear my age proudly, helped me to first accept and then welcome the onset of 60.”
Back to that word… OLD. I remind myself, the younger generation has reclaimed “Queer.” In the ‘70s we reclaimed the word “Dyke.” OLOC is all about reclaiming the word old with a capital O. Not calling ourselves Seniors or Elders – which conjures up pictures of us retiring to knit quietly in a corner. Hell, I use a knitting needle to clean my powertools. So yes, we’re Old & Proud and learning that real life does go on after sixty (or seventy or eighty.) In fact it also gets much sweeter.
And speaking of sixty – some of my young friends are surprised to hear that the OLOC event has an age cut-off of sixty (exceptions are made for lovers, partners and caregivers.) OLOC has boldly said “this is our space.” The e-generation has MySpace on the internet. I’m going to claim my space at the OLOC Gathering.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Mommy, Where Do Lesbians Come From?
Edited version in:“In Magazine” June'08.
Towards an anthropology of lesbians as a tribe
I believe that lesbians constitute a tribe of our own. Since I was a baby dyke decades ago, I’ve traveled all over the world, to Rome, Mexico, England, and Africa. Wherever I go I recognize my people, lesbians. As an elder lesbian stateswoman, I want to tell my lesbian daughters – yes, you kids on the road to assimilation -- how important it is for you to know who you are. Whether you gather by the thousands at posh hotels in Palm Springs (known as the DINAH ritual), or you’ve been to the great lesbian music festivals of the 1980’s, you have participated in the international lesbian tribe.
What does it mean to be a tribe? Webster’s Dictionary calls a “tribe” -- a group of people, a division, class of people characterized by its own culture, and having a name, a dialect …a political division of a united people … coincident with the founding of new colonies.
What are the characteristics of our lesbian culture? What are those building blocks which transcend centuries and define us as a unique tribe of people?
STORY: One of these characteristics is ‘story.’ Lesbians have a commonly held story of our how our people survived over centuries of oppression. Our story dates back to the beginnings of written history. In our case, our story dates back to 430 B.C. with the legends of the famous teacher, Sappho, and her school of the arts for young girls on the Greek Island of Lesbos. Lesbos is not fiction. Look it up. It’s an island in the Aegean Sea. Sappho is not fiction. You may find books of her poetry, and stories about her and her lover, Bilitis, and their lives as teachers to upper class Greek girls to prepare them for marriage. And even before the dawn of written history, one finds examples and references to Amazon tribes who roamed the forests of Europe before the dawn of patriarchy (rule by men).
LANGUAGE: We as lesbians have a language and a sense of cultural humor that springs out of our story. We see our language in simple cartoons like “Dykes to Watch Out For.” Alison Bechdel, the lesbian creator of this comic, has recently been invited to join the Usage Panel of the American Heritage Dictionary because even the heterosexual world recognizes that we lesbians have a language of our own. Now that’s recognizing the linguistic uniqueness of lesbians! We see our language developing in jokes like, What does a lesbian bring on her 2nd date? Answer: a U Haul. We have language, sometimes called ‘gaydar,’ that allows us to come out and define each other on the streets, “Didn’t I see/meet you last year at the Palms?” “This is my partner, Susan.” “Is that your girlfriend, or your girl-friend?” “Is she a ‘sister’?” “Are you a member of the family?”
DRESS: Each generation of lesbians defines itself with slightly different versions of a set of common fundamental style of shoes, hats, hair and accessories. Whether it was the radical chic androgynous drag of the 70s, or the lipstick lesbian salty look of the 80s, or the young queer women of the new century, we recognize each other.
PSYCHOLOGY: Lesbians have a broad range of tools, both learned and genetic, which make us capable of and willing to live on a much deeper emotional plane. It is a place much deeper than most straight people are willing to live on. It is a place defined by the psyche and needs of two women engaged in intimate relating. In my long eight years of living amongst the heterosexuals in an expatriate community in Mexico, one of the things I missed most about my tribe was lesbian conversation. Straights talk about the banality of life. Who you are is defined by your job or your money. How was work today? Where do you live? When will you buy a new house? How are the children? Lesbian life is defined by the emotional news of the day. How do you feel about your job? How’s your relationship (which really means -- what is the nature of your relating and how do you each feel about it)?
When a straight couple goes to ‘therapy’ it’s a secret from their friends and means they’ll most likely break up. Lesbians go to therapy as often as they get a tune up for the car. Therapy is an ordinary part of life’s unfolding.
FAMILY: Lesbians forge familial bonds with a chosen family that is based upon shared values rather than biology. I think it is a blessing in disguise that most of us experienced a sense of alienation from our parents in our teens and early twenties. This forces us to psychologically separate from our bio-fams and go out into the world and find intimate, stalwart friends. Friends with whom we share the joys and grief of relationship, birth, death, job loss – the major difficulties of life. This depth of sharing creates family. When my biological sisters and brothers came to my commitment ceremony I asked them to get in a line for a ritual called ‘the procession of the family.’ This procession would then walk into the marital circle with me. My many siblings were shocked to see five or six people they didn’t know in the line. ‘Who are these people?” they asked me. “Why are they in the family procession?”
“Oh,” I explained, “They are my family of choice. I have two families.”
WEDDING RITUALS: And speaking of weddings, anyone who's ever been to a straight wedding and then a lesbian commitment ceremony can see the awesome differences in how we build this ritual. Women draw on our personal life experiences when planning the words and ceremonies of our partnering. We prefer to write our own scripts and vows. We pick ministers who reflect our political and social values.
RELIGION: Because we don’t find our spiritual home in traditional religions, most lesbians have made a life search of building our own spiritual lives. Many lesbians find it difficult to belong to a religion which defines ‘god’ as only masculine. We know that traditional religions are a by-product of a male dominated culture, the Judeo-Christian age of the last two millennia. Lesbians who chose to believe in a deity need ‘God’ to encompass the feminine as well as the masculine. So we have gone back to goddess centered belief systems, or found New-Age spiritual beliefs, among them Science of Mind, which correctly resurrects the religions of earlier times in which our Higher Power is all things feminine and masculine.
BORN OUTLAWS: Lesbians see great advantage in being born into a minority culture, because as outlaws we are more able to think beyond the boundaries of racial and gender prejudices. It is not an accident that lesbians are primary in the leadership of most social movements in our country -- be it the abolition of slavery in the 1800s, the founding of the profession of social work (Jane Addams was a lesbian), the second civil rights movement of the 60s, the environmental movement, doctors without borders, Amnesty International, or the gender bending movements of today. Wherever you see social injustice, you see lesbians leading these struggles.
I could go on to book length about all the behavioral characterizes of our Amazon tribe. But in conclusion I want to send a message to my lesbian daughters. The challenge of this assimilating decade may be for today’s young lesbian to know her cultural heritage, and figure out how to mainstream without losing it. I want to say to you – We lesbians are not an accident of heterosexual labeling. We are a people with a story to tell. In your drive to be assimilated into the mainstream, be careful not to lose your heritage. My generation of lesbians, and the generation before me, bought your freedom with our careers, our family, and sometimes with our blood. We look at you, the E-generation, with great pride and love. As we pass the torch of Lesbian Nation to you, we assure you that the price of mainstreaming must not include giving up your birthright as citizens in the tribe of women identified women.
(Written: May 17, 2008. Based on my speech at June L Mazer Lesbian Archives, “Lesbian Spaces, Lesbian Culture” -- May 4, 2008)
Towards an anthropology of lesbians as a tribe
I believe that lesbians constitute a tribe of our own. Since I was a baby dyke decades ago, I’ve traveled all over the world, to Rome, Mexico, England, and Africa. Wherever I go I recognize my people, lesbians. As an elder lesbian stateswoman, I want to tell my lesbian daughters – yes, you kids on the road to assimilation -- how important it is for you to know who you are. Whether you gather by the thousands at posh hotels in Palm Springs (known as the DINAH ritual), or you’ve been to the great lesbian music festivals of the 1980’s, you have participated in the international lesbian tribe.
What does it mean to be a tribe? Webster’s Dictionary calls a “tribe” -- a group of people, a division, class of people characterized by its own culture, and having a name, a dialect …a political division of a united people … coincident with the founding of new colonies.
What are the characteristics of our lesbian culture? What are those building blocks which transcend centuries and define us as a unique tribe of people?
STORY: One of these characteristics is ‘story.’ Lesbians have a commonly held story of our how our people survived over centuries of oppression. Our story dates back to the beginnings of written history. In our case, our story dates back to 430 B.C. with the legends of the famous teacher, Sappho, and her school of the arts for young girls on the Greek Island of Lesbos. Lesbos is not fiction. Look it up. It’s an island in the Aegean Sea. Sappho is not fiction. You may find books of her poetry, and stories about her and her lover, Bilitis, and their lives as teachers to upper class Greek girls to prepare them for marriage. And even before the dawn of written history, one finds examples and references to Amazon tribes who roamed the forests of Europe before the dawn of patriarchy (rule by men).
LANGUAGE: We as lesbians have a language and a sense of cultural humor that springs out of our story. We see our language in simple cartoons like “Dykes to Watch Out For.” Alison Bechdel, the lesbian creator of this comic, has recently been invited to join the Usage Panel of the American Heritage Dictionary because even the heterosexual world recognizes that we lesbians have a language of our own. Now that’s recognizing the linguistic uniqueness of lesbians! We see our language developing in jokes like, What does a lesbian bring on her 2nd date? Answer: a U Haul. We have language, sometimes called ‘gaydar,’ that allows us to come out and define each other on the streets, “Didn’t I see/meet you last year at the Palms?” “This is my partner, Susan.” “Is that your girlfriend, or your girl-friend?” “Is she a ‘sister’?” “Are you a member of the family?”
DRESS: Each generation of lesbians defines itself with slightly different versions of a set of common fundamental style of shoes, hats, hair and accessories. Whether it was the radical chic androgynous drag of the 70s, or the lipstick lesbian salty look of the 80s, or the young queer women of the new century, we recognize each other.
PSYCHOLOGY: Lesbians have a broad range of tools, both learned and genetic, which make us capable of and willing to live on a much deeper emotional plane. It is a place much deeper than most straight people are willing to live on. It is a place defined by the psyche and needs of two women engaged in intimate relating. In my long eight years of living amongst the heterosexuals in an expatriate community in Mexico, one of the things I missed most about my tribe was lesbian conversation. Straights talk about the banality of life. Who you are is defined by your job or your money. How was work today? Where do you live? When will you buy a new house? How are the children? Lesbian life is defined by the emotional news of the day. How do you feel about your job? How’s your relationship (which really means -- what is the nature of your relating and how do you each feel about it)?
When a straight couple goes to ‘therapy’ it’s a secret from their friends and means they’ll most likely break up. Lesbians go to therapy as often as they get a tune up for the car. Therapy is an ordinary part of life’s unfolding.
FAMILY: Lesbians forge familial bonds with a chosen family that is based upon shared values rather than biology. I think it is a blessing in disguise that most of us experienced a sense of alienation from our parents in our teens and early twenties. This forces us to psychologically separate from our bio-fams and go out into the world and find intimate, stalwart friends. Friends with whom we share the joys and grief of relationship, birth, death, job loss – the major difficulties of life. This depth of sharing creates family. When my biological sisters and brothers came to my commitment ceremony I asked them to get in a line for a ritual called ‘the procession of the family.’ This procession would then walk into the marital circle with me. My many siblings were shocked to see five or six people they didn’t know in the line. ‘Who are these people?” they asked me. “Why are they in the family procession?”
“Oh,” I explained, “They are my family of choice. I have two families.”
WEDDING RITUALS: And speaking of weddings, anyone who's ever been to a straight wedding and then a lesbian commitment ceremony can see the awesome differences in how we build this ritual. Women draw on our personal life experiences when planning the words and ceremonies of our partnering. We prefer to write our own scripts and vows. We pick ministers who reflect our political and social values.
RELIGION: Because we don’t find our spiritual home in traditional religions, most lesbians have made a life search of building our own spiritual lives. Many lesbians find it difficult to belong to a religion which defines ‘god’ as only masculine. We know that traditional religions are a by-product of a male dominated culture, the Judeo-Christian age of the last two millennia. Lesbians who chose to believe in a deity need ‘God’ to encompass the feminine as well as the masculine. So we have gone back to goddess centered belief systems, or found New-Age spiritual beliefs, among them Science of Mind, which correctly resurrects the religions of earlier times in which our Higher Power is all things feminine and masculine.
BORN OUTLAWS: Lesbians see great advantage in being born into a minority culture, because as outlaws we are more able to think beyond the boundaries of racial and gender prejudices. It is not an accident that lesbians are primary in the leadership of most social movements in our country -- be it the abolition of slavery in the 1800s, the founding of the profession of social work (Jane Addams was a lesbian), the second civil rights movement of the 60s, the environmental movement, doctors without borders, Amnesty International, or the gender bending movements of today. Wherever you see social injustice, you see lesbians leading these struggles.
I could go on to book length about all the behavioral characterizes of our Amazon tribe. But in conclusion I want to send a message to my lesbian daughters. The challenge of this assimilating decade may be for today’s young lesbian to know her cultural heritage, and figure out how to mainstream without losing it. I want to say to you – We lesbians are not an accident of heterosexual labeling. We are a people with a story to tell. In your drive to be assimilated into the mainstream, be careful not to lose your heritage. My generation of lesbians, and the generation before me, bought your freedom with our careers, our family, and sometimes with our blood. We look at you, the E-generation, with great pride and love. As we pass the torch of Lesbian Nation to you, we assure you that the price of mainstreaming must not include giving up your birthright as citizens in the tribe of women identified women.
(Written: May 17, 2008. Based on my speech at June L Mazer Lesbian Archives, “Lesbian Spaces, Lesbian Culture” -- May 4, 2008)
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Millett stories Inspired by the TIDE COVER
It's Ang talking here: Okay so I thought the retro GIANT glasses of today came out of nowhere! Who knew Kate Millett started the trend. She was a trend setter in many more important ways, almost too many to count. One thing you might not know about her is that she was one of the first women to make a film using an all women crew. She did it back in 1971 (Three Lives). But a more personal story sticks in my mind whenever I hear her name.I was a 16 year old lesbian convinced I was "the only one" on earth. I went to the Anaheim, CA public library every day after school and scoured the shelves for anything resembling me. Nothing in all the thousands of books... until one day, I found Sita by Kate Millett. Kate wrote about her affair with an older woman. I couldn't get enough. How many any other personal Kate Millett stories are out there?
I'd love to hear them.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Bird Watching at the Dinah Shore - a sociopolitical field trip
I used to go to the Dinah Shore lez-forget-about-the-golf weekend in Palm Springs way back in the 80s, before it became the largest lesbian hang in California. I thought I’d seen it all. But a new young friend told me, “It’s waaaay different now, ya gotta stay relevant. Check it out!”
So I dragged me and my blog-mate, Lily B. Wit, out to Palm Springs to see what the gen X, eGen, queer, lipstick forever, whatev, young lezbianas (that’s the Latina plural for lesbians) are doing these days.
The sun was shining but the wind-chill at Club Skirts on Sunday was bold enough to make a thousand nipples stand out. That didn’t bother the huge crowd hanging at the pool, half naked and bouncing, listening to “Betty” sing their theme song from The L Word. The trio – Alison, Amy & Elizabeth -- also has a new song, “Did You Tell Her?” with lyrics about things you don’t want to tell your lover.
But me, I was checking out the dozens of hairdo’s the young lesbians were sporting. For butches, futches and bois wearing shirts that hung to their knees, I could see that their pride was their HAIR. And for the ladies, femmes, and the feminine – HAIR has always been god.
And no-one wanted to mess up their hair by jumping into the pool.
So I went. I saw. I took photos.
So I dragged me and my blog-mate, Lily B. Wit, out to Palm Springs to see what the gen X, eGen, queer, lipstick forever, whatev, young lezbianas (that’s the Latina plural for lesbians) are doing these days.
The sun was shining but the wind-chill at Club Skirts on Sunday was bold enough to make a thousand nipples stand out. That didn’t bother the huge crowd hanging at the pool, half naked and bouncing, listening to “Betty” sing their theme song from The L Word. The trio – Alison, Amy & Elizabeth -- also has a new song, “Did You Tell Her?” with lyrics about things you don’t want to tell your lover.
But me, I was checking out the dozens of hairdo’s the young lesbians were sporting. For butches, futches and bois wearing shirts that hung to their knees, I could see that their pride was their HAIR. And for the ladies, femmes, and the feminine – HAIR has always been god.
And no-one wanted to mess up their hair by jumping into the pool.
So I went. I saw. I took photos.
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